The Blame Tee
$39 + $9.95 shipping · two for $69, shipping free · four for $129
Printed to order. Allow three weeks before the flight.
You buy it for someone else's trip. They open it at the airport and put it on there. Pick the design they would never choose for themselves. The back says whose idea it was, and the blank is your name.
THIS WAS ______'S IDEA

Printed to order on a coloured or white tee, one at a time, after you pay. Nothing is kept in stock. Every picture shows the artwork on the tee colour it ships on.
I HAVE A PODCASTThey will explain it to you unprompted.
ASK ME ABOUT MY DIVORCENobody will. That is the point.
PROFESSIONAL THIRD WHEELNever off duty.
MY MOM THINKS I'M COOLShe is the only one.
I WAS TOLD THERE'D BE A LIMOThere was not a limo.
THE BRIDE'S LEAST FAVORITEConfirmed in writing by the bride.
BORN TO SNORE, FORCED TO FLYRow 34. Everyone within six rows already knows.
I'M THE SMELLThree words. No recovery.
SOBER SINCE 6AMIt is now 6:40.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE MY PASSPORT ISWatch them check every pocket twice.
I'M WITH THE IDIOTBuy two. Point them at each other.
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HUMANCertified by nobody.
MY THERAPIST SAYS HITwice a week. Making progress.
THE MUSCLE SUITA print of a padded superhero costume, zip showing. It came free with something.
THE ROMPERA knitted baby romper in adult size, printed on. Nobody recovers from this one.
THE DOLLA plastic doll torso with ball joints for shoulders, as a print. Anatomically optimistic.
ARMBANDSArmbands, a pool ring and a snorkel, printed on. Not to be trusted near a hotel pool.
THE DUCK SWEATERA print of a hand-knitted zigzag sweater with a duck. It itches from thirty feet.
RAW CHICKENA raw supermarket chicken, life size. Their head goes where the neck was.
THE KIDS' TUXEDOA child's tuxedo straining at the buttons, printed on. Formal, technically.
BOWLING CARPETA bowling alley carpet from 1994, in full colour. Loud then, louder now.
THE BURGERA cheeseburger, far too close, printed big across the front.
THE CREATUREAn original creature with bulging eyes and a tongue. Airbrushed on purpose.
GALAXY CATSThree cats in space with laser eyes and a slice of pizza. It has everything.
BACONRaw bacon, glossy, printed big across the front.
THE MONKEYA screaming chimpanzee, badly cropped, mall-kiosk style.
| Fit | Unisex, true to size. If in doubt go up one; oversized is part of the joke. Measurements are in the table below. |
|---|---|
| Fabric | Gildan 5000 heavy cotton unisex tee, 100% cotton (Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester). Printed direct to garment. |
| Made to order, one shirt at a time, on a coloured or white unisex tee by the print-on-demand partner nearest the delivery address. Front as chosen, back as stated, nothing else. | |
| Name | Up to 10 letters, capitals, on the back. Whatever you type is what gets printed. |
| Airport | No nudity, no slurs, no weapons, no threats. Loud is the point. Whether the gate agent laughs is between you and them. |
| Care | Wash cold, inside out. It will outlive the friendship if you let it. |
| Size | Chest, flat | Length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 in | 28 in |
| M | 20 in | 29 in |
| L | 22 in | 30 in |
| XL | 24 in | 31 in |
| 2XL | 26 in | 32 in |
| 3XL | 28 in | 33 in |
| 4XL | 30 in | 34 in |
Measured flat, in inches. Chest is the width of the shirt from armpit to armpit. The easy check: lay a shirt that fits them flat and match its width.
- They do not see it until you meet at the airport.
- It goes on right there. The bathroom counts as right there.
- It stays on until baggage claim at the other end.
- Photos are taken. Complaining is part of it.
- The back says whose idea it was. That is you.
Printed near them, not shipped across the world
| Destination | Printed | Typical delivery |
|---|---|---|
| United States | Printed to order, US network | 7–12 business days, estimate |
| Australia | Printed to order, Australian network | 8–12 business days, estimate |
The windows are estimates from the printer, not promises. Order at least three weeks before the flight. Put the flight date in the order: we check it before printing, and if it will not make it you hear from us the same day and can cancel for a full refund. Once a parcel is on its way, we pass on any courier delay as soon as we know.
A faulty or misprinted shirt gets replaced, free, with a photo. A wrong size gets swapped once, free, if you tell us within 30 days of delivery: we print the right size and send it free, you post the first one back unwashed (tried on is fine, worn on the trip is not). Order three weeks out and the 30 days cover the airport. No refunds will be given if you have simply changed your mind. Your legal rights as a consumer are not affected.

























